so much

so.. er my mum found out everything. she went in my room, read my diary and worked everything. everyone is telling me this is a good thing.. now i can get help. but i don’t want help - i like the fact that i can control this. i’m fine. she’s telling me i’m never going to cut again.. no you don’t understand i have to do this, its the one thing i can keep control of and it helps me feel pain. i don’t even know what to do with myself now she knows. she won’t let me out of sight.. i can’t go out, i can’t sit in my room with my door closed.. that’s it all privacy gone. i’m watched, all the time. i will never ever be alone. i havent cut in ages, my wrists are aching and i don’t know what to do. help.

please dont indirect about me


welcome to hell